Oh, my aching sushi!!!

All right, so summer's over and there are fewer pretty girls in tank tops. But still, if you think about it, we're still better. We are utterly beautiful, talented, intelligent, and amazing girls who don't need to show off skin to feel worthy. Too bad we're too good for you.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

"Where the Blacktop Ends"

There are moments, and then there are moments, those that completely change your perception of the world. This afternoon brought one of those freeze-frame stimuli.
From 2 until 5, Kaylan, Jordan, Beth C. and I met with Hayes and the new journalism teacher in the N* room. The main classroom part was entirely cleared, except for a bunch of tables with boxes of the new teacher's stuff and a fiber-optic palm tree. The computer lab area was mostly the same, except with the obvious new flat-screen monitors. The admin added two new doors, so now yearbook actually has to OPEN A DOOR to come into our room. Anyway, we talked a lot about the paper (unfortunately, she is utterly overwhelmed with MEOW, which scares me), interrupted only by Hayes realizing that his office chair, the projector, all the records for staff, all business files for Jared, and EVERY SINGLE DIGICAM but the "Rebel" was gone. Completely gone.
Hayes left to get his kid, and then a few hours later we all decided to head for home. Waiting in Jordan's car with her and Kaylan, we all just let it go. Jordan laughed to let off steam, and Kaylan and I started bawling. And so we called Hayes, and as soon as he said, "Hello?" we yelled, "WE LOVE YOU, HAYES!" And that's when the scene was captured: Jordan on the left, holding her cell and laughing at Hayes' comments, Kaylan (practically golden from the setting sun) and me huddled on the right, hugging each other, tears streaming down our faces.

If I had taken a picture, it would probably be the best, rawest, most captivating picture I could ever take. After living through so many months with the only existing passion being anger or loneliness, this was proof that I'm still human. I felt grief and involvement at the same time. It also gave me hope that whatever comes, I have someone (two someones, actually) who will be able to relate, who can comfort me just by my knowledge of their similar pain.

My main fear for senior year is being alone, and today showed me what I've feared: I will be alone next year. I will have some friends who aren't that close to me, but even with that type of relationship, they'll be the closest ones I'll have. So will I be lonely? No. I'll be working so hard that my business persona will take over and I can talk and laugh and have a good time. Will I be happy? Will I be able to let my guard down around anyone and truly be myself? Again, no.

Wow. This was...angsty. Or should I say "xangsty," since I normally would only write stuff like this on my xanga. Whatever. I'm tired.

Monday, July 25, 2005

"Witness"

Well, I don't know who all reads this nowadays, if anyone, but I'm off to workshops in a few minutes! I'll be back Wednesday afternoon. Gonna miss y'all!

And Ash, if you still read this, WELCOME HOME!

Amaris: William! The best part of prom is to be a hot, single girl where the guys can't get you because they already have dates.
William: You're an incurable tease.

Friday, July 15, 2005

"My Beautiful Woman"

Who wants to know why I am so happy?

1. I GOT A 5 ON THE APUSH EXAM!!!!!! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!

2. I will soon be getting an iPod - free!!! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!

3. I got the modeling gig tomorrow, which means $$$$!!!!!!!

4. I'm scheduling college visits!! (Yeah, I'm a dork. Whatever. I want college so badly.)

5. I just blew $80 on clothes in a Carmel shop yesterday, including a $46 pair of jeans, two tops that are really cute, and my "hooker" top (I can justify my spending...)

6. Just finished working with the West Virginia KC editor to create a forum for all club and district editors throughout the international organization

7. Am completely booked until August, for the most part, and mostly for social reasons.

*sigh* Happy, happy... :)

Amaris: William! The best part of prom is to be a hot, single girl where the guys can't get you because they already have dates.
William: You're an incurable tease.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

"Incomplete"

*sigh* NO ONE has posted since I left?? This is depressing!!

Anyway, Atlanta rocked! Despite my heart problems and Hurricane Dennis, we had a great time. On the way down, the AC on our tour bus broke, so we had to cross back over the state line to get to where the company was stationed and reload all our suitcases onto another bus. We left around noon and pulled up into the Atlanta Hilton at 1:30 the next morning. Can you say 13 hours on one bus?? AHHHHH!
The next day, we met up with some of the Caribbean District's Key Clubbers before heading out to the Atlanta Underground. Yeah. We went through the entire underground shopping plaza in 25 minutes, bored out of our minds, and then walked over to the Coke factory/museum. It rocked!!!! Half the stuff in there was of Japanese origin. I even tried a Japanese apricot drink, some Chinese citrus juice thing, and a German raspberry drink in the "Tastes of the World" area. (I'll have pics developed soon!)
Then we met up with some of the New Englanders before lunch and went back to our hotel rooms to change for the Atlanta Braves game. Well, as it's done the past two years during ICON (in Indy and in St. Louis), it poured. They hadn't even put down the chalk all the way yet!! Grrr... But yeah, we were motioning to all the other groups of Key Clubbers to do our cheer: "Hey, PNW (Pacific Northwest)!" or "Hey, Michigan!" or "Hey, I-I (Illinois-Eastern Iowa)!" Ahhh... SO MUCH FUN! PNW has some crazy Asians, just like Cali-Nev-Ha and Cali-Nev-Ha KIWINS. I <3 crazy Asians.
So we all went back, all 32 of us, to the suite (rather, it was a parlor with a bed that our governor broke) to eat pizza and hang out as a district.
My roomies... Let's just say that we couldn't have had a weirder combination. There was me, the Cancer; there was Pike's new club pres, the Taurus; and there were two LTG's, a Libra and an Aquarius. Can you say FUN TIMES??? And what's great is that I guessed the Taurus and the Aquarius off the bat. My astrosense is strengthening. YAY!
The next day, we just attended workshops and hung out with people. I think I introduced myself to over 100 people while I was in Atlanta. Working the social circle was amazing. Turns out that in my effective communication 101 workshop, the bulletin editor from PNW came up to talk to me. (She is the sweetest thing!!) So now I have to develop my pics to get the one of her and me in the UNICEF's new campaign workshop.
The rest of the week is really a blur. Bunches of workshops, caucusing (I helped Megan organize her speech at midnight the night before she would speak in front of all 1700-or-so people), a dance, House of Delegates, buying tons of KC merchandise, Clarke being hypnotized onstage, being picked for sergeant-at-arms, Megan and Nick BOTH elected as international trustees for next year (so we're the first district in 17 years to have had 2 trustees in one board for two consecutive years), spending our last night with about 50 people in the suite from Montana and Wi-Um (Wisconsin-Upper Michigan), playing "Mafia" and flirting with a Montana boy (HAHA! I am evil!), watching people puke after going on the DejaVu ride at Six Flags, getting to know the upstate kids at Cracker Barrel on the way home, hugging every person before I left and being included in mall plans with Alex from HSE, waving from the car...

As I said, Atlanta was awesome.

Amaris: William! The best part of prom is to be a hot, single girl where the guys can't get you because they already have dates.
William: You're an incurable tease.

Monday, July 04, 2005

I'm off... again.


This time, it's to Atlanta. WOO! I'll be back around 7 p.m. on the 11th. Give my cell a ring so we can plan stuff to do!!!

And on that note, happy 4th of July and I'll see ya when I get back from "Hot"lanta!


Amaris: William! The best part of prom is to be a hot, single girl where the guys can't get you because they already have dates.
William: You're an incurable tease.